Bayou Squid
When the crescent moon cuts through a sliver of cloud, the gloom is just bright enough to make the dark swamp water glisten with the undulating tentacles of bayou squid. Their heads bobs in the churn of millions of tentacles, thousands of squid, swimming, moving en masse wherever they are going. A bayou squid is a creature favored by Cajuns more than Creoles. A Cajun will eat anything.
Cajuns live in the swamp. They are descendants of Canadians. They speak Cajun French. They chase chickens on Mardi Gras Day. Everything they make starts with a roux. Everything they cook is served with rice.
Creoles live in the city. They are descendants of people who lived in New Orleans when the French and Spanish were in charge. It was a different city. No one can control New Orleans. Creoles dine on trinity: celery, onion, bell pepper.
No matter which way you swing, bayou squid are good eats. First, you make a roux. No New Orleans restaurant lists bayou squid on the menu. Supplies are unreliable. It has been at least a century since any squid were caught in Bayou Saint John.
Bayou water is shallow. It is the mud underneath that is thick with slowly decomposing things. The water is the color of dark, dark tea. What gets dumped in the bayou, stays secret and impossible to find. Once suspected, it remains impossible to uncover.
Bayou squid’s bodies are only two inches long, on average. Squint and forget the color, a bayou squid is roughly the size and shape of a jalapeño pepper. They pop when you bite them like an overripe grape.
Squid meat is chewy like alligator. Bayou squid, also like alligator, tastes like chicken. Go to a restaurant in Cajun country and bayou squid will be on the menu along with popcorn shrimp. Children can be picky eaters.
Cut the legs off the squid and fry them like shoestring potatoes. Serve with remoulade. That’s how it’s done at Antoine’s, Galatoire’s, all the fancy places to eat in New Orleans. The carnival class knows how to dine. Rex likes them extra crispy.
Like crab rangoon, the heads of bayou shrimp can be stuffed with cream cheese and then deep fried. Chinese restaurants in Houma and Thibodaux serve them that way. So does a five-star joint out in Lafayette. Some people think it’s worth the drive.
Stuff the heads with shrimp and lump crab meat. That is the New Orleans way. Season judiciously. New Orleans takes three things seriously: Mardi Gras, jazz, and food. Get those three right, and you will have a perfect New Orleans day and night.
To eat a crawfish, you bite the tail and suck the head. With bayou squid, the best thing to do is put one in a jar to admire it. Unless you are a Cajun. A Cajun will eat anything.
