Have you ever looked through an otoscope?
I am thinking about opening an ear spa. You know what I mean, a place where people go to get their ears pampered. I am not talking about their pinnae [I am not even going to look up if I am right about that choice of word, it feels right], I am talking about cerumen removal.
You do not need a license to remove people’s earwax in Louisiana. You need a license to arrange flowers and sell coffins, but not remove earwax or install tooth gems. There is all sorts of wiggle room where there are no laws.
This is New Orleans.
So, I hooked up with this Vietnamese ear barber out in Village de l’Est. The arthritis in his knees got the better of him so he can no longer take the stress and the strain of shrimp boat work. Instead, he cleans earwax out of a makeshift shop in his daughter’s garage.
Do not ask me what street it is on. It is totally crazy out in Village de l’Est. It is half Viet Creole and half Honduran Creole. Everybody speaks in dialect. If you can make heads or tails of it, have at it. I just go for the grocery stores.
This guy uses tweezers and all sorts of specialized tools to remove cerumen out of people’s ears. He will be the first to tell you that not every job is a surgical procedure. For regular customers, it usually takes just a quick swipe of some specialized tools to make their ear canals clean as a whistle.
So, anyhow, I was hanging out in this guy’s daughter’s garage learning the tricks of the ear lavage trade. His daughter is my pharmacist.
I will tell you more behind the paywall.
But, first, you will never guess who won that record player at the Pabst Blue Ribbon raffle on Sunday. It was not me.
It gets even better. Later that night, that same guy, who has the worst taste in music, he won another raffle. He was at the Buttermilk Drop Cafe. He won three sacks of premium donut flour. Pillsbury was raffling off swag.