Everyone Has a Scheme.

There are no quarries in New Orleans save the depths of one’s soul. There is no rock. New Orleans subsists on top of miles and miles of mud. Every day is a new beginning as much as it is much the same. There is no stop-motion photography in New Orleans today. Everything is still.

Have you ever seen a quarry? Much like New Orleans, they fill up with rain. Much like a quarry, you can drown in New Orleans. Risk a deep dive at your peril.

New Orleans is physically flat. The only hills are Monkey Hill in Audubon Park and Laborde Mountain in City Park, both manmade. If something is Uptown, its equivalent is Downtown and vice versa. There is also a hummock in the East. The highest spots in Algiers are the levees.

I cannot speak for the suburbs. I very rarely leave the city. I am the male praying mantis. Remember that guy in the movie, The Fly, have you seen it? Not the Jeff Goldblum version, though he was very good in it.

Help me, help me.

I am well aware that I am making you make many mental leaps to follow me. This is by design. Living in a New Orleans state of mind is not for everyone. I am giving you a taste of what it is like to live here. This is the time and this is the record of the time.

This is New Orleans.

Now, I am going behind the paywall to talk about what happened to me today. You really should become a paid subscriber. Get the goods. Try a month. You’ll be back. I’ve set a table for you.