Finally. Monkeys on the Greenway.
The worst crossing on the Lafitte Greenway is where it crosses Carrollton Avenue in the Little Metairie part of Mid-City. It is little wonder. Little Metairie is the most suburban part of New Orleans, proper. There are no greenways in Metairie. Everyone drives a car. The only people who take the bus in Metairie are from Central America, or, if they are native-born, their life is a failure. What is true in the city is not true outside the city. New Orleans is its own world.
When you say HAWK, nobody knows what you're talking about. It stands for High-intensity Activated crossWalk beaCon, with the K standing in for C. It is a tortured acronym that is impossible to say with a straight face. It is a kind of a traffic light that makes no sense. There is not another one like it in the whole city.
There probably isn't another HAWK in the whole state. Louisiana is not full of fools. It is only in New Orleans where they like to try frivolous new things. There definitely isn't one of these in Mississippi. It would be shot the first day.
Carrying guns is illegal in New Orleans. Not in the rest of Louisiana. New Orleans is an island of misfit toys.
The HAWK is not just an unnecessary idea, it is a triangular configuration of two red lights topping one yellow. People using the greenway are supposed to push the button to light up the lights. Since nobody really knows how it works or what it is supposed to mean, nobody knows what to do. Confusion ensues
The lights flash and light up in various arrangements once somebody pushes the button. The HAWK consists of two configurations, each facing traffic's direction. Oncoming traffic slows, bewildered at what is happening. Brakes are applied of a sudden. Cars swerve to avoid those suddenly stopped. Nobody knows what is going on. Safety first.
For an eternity the HAWK stays in what the machine obviously thinks is its STOP mode. All three lights hold steady for longer than need be. The timer is set for toddler-not-having-his-hand-held mode, as if a boy scout is walking an old lady across the street. This is after the warning light display that makes people wonder what they are supposed to do. Then, STOP is followed by another light show, supposedly urging further caution with a cheerful farewell.
What are you supposed to do when two red lights are alternately flashing? This is not on the test to get a driver’s license. Have you seen the price of caviar recently? That probably isn’t on the test, either.
After the boy scout has gotten the old lady across the street, most drivers ignore all the warnings, and even the STOP part. NOPD can't be bothered to issue a ticket for running a regular traffic light. It's got to be a slow day in New Orleans if you get a ticket for running the HAWK. It is a very over-engineered crosswalk. This is the part where the greenway runs between Rouses and Petco.