This is a story about a part of City Park far away from the main entrance. This one is long. I am going to post it three parts.
You can’t take the streetcar to get there.
Mona Lisa Drive
We’re making the rounds, you and I, and it’s time to make our tipsy, weaving way home. Let’s take the scenic route to see what will happen. I’m sure we’ll bump into somebody we know.
The First and Last Stop is in an improbable building in an improbable part of New Orleans. If it were anywhere else, the neighbors would complain. If we were anyplace but New Orleans, this place probably wouldn’t even exist. Let’s make a pop-in to see who’s awake.
This windowless cinderblock building is painted bright yellow on its outside. Don’t let that fool you. The only holiday in here is Christmas Eve, except during Mardi Gras, when the twinkle lights change colors. The only other lights are the beer signs in the mirrors, the video slot machines, and the televisions behind the bar and in every corner.
The dart crowd is long gone, and it’s late. This music has got to be WWOZ. It’s mostly just industry people hanging out.
There is only one industry in New Orleans. It’s making good memories.
Jess and Marco are leaving, which is perfect timing, so we take their seats next to a character from out of a horror movie.
Meet Mo.
He’s a ghost tour guide and he looks the part, down to his black fingernails. He looks like a grizzly axe murderer, like nobody you’d want to talk to, but he’s a very nice guy. He’s also a stand-up comedian.
Neither way is any way to get rich.
If this was a movie, this bar would be thick with smoke.
“Let’s all go in on a bucket,” Mo says to us, while nodding toward Bruno and Wanda, who are playing skee-ball against the wall on the opposite side from the dart boards. Their league plays here on Tuesdays.
“I’ve still got the ghost of Moaner Lisa on my mind,” Mo says. He and I talked about this last week. Like most hustlers, he’s an obsessive. He gnaws at an idea until he gives up.
As with most industry people, especially at this time of night, I suspect drugs are involved.
“I wanna lead night tours down Mona Lisa Drive, in City Park, but it’s gotta be on the down low,” Mo continues, as he told me Thursday night. “If I could get tour groups to meet me at night, it’ll be some real haunted history. People would pay good money. It’s right up my alley, being extra spooky.”
He makes that fluttery gesture with his fingers.
