Monkey Orleans
Let me get some odds and ends out of the way before I announce the big news. I have a few things that have been rolling around in my mind that don’t fit anywhere else. I want to clear the decks and get on with business…. heh. You know the kind.
The most optimal combination of candies, in equal measure, 33/33/33 + 1, is Sweet Tarts/Red Hots/Tropical Sour Mike and Ikes. You will taste flavors you never imagined, a combination of ambrosia mixed with manna, the opposite of this:
Green olives and anchovies go great together. Pair with a tart apple and some briny mozzarella and you are in for a treat.
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The cold snap recently has been killing the neighborhood brush lizards. There are so many on some sidewalks that people have stopped taking pictures. It’s not like when it snows. When it snows, people are out taking pictures until it’s gone (usually about 20 minutes). People step over the dead lizards as if they aren’t even there.
That reminds me of the six inch long slug on the dance floor at Republic last night.
It wasn’t a slug. It was somebody’s pickled green bean, but it was just as slippery as a slug. It being a dance floor, somebody stepped on it with his Vans. It’s a good thing skateboard shoes are grippy. The floors at Republic, like many surfaces, are slippery when wet. Moisture encourages missteps, even in a mosh pit. Trying to save it with a vogue, this cat caught his balance after I caught his elbow.
“Watch where you step,” I said. This is always good advice.
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There are some parts of New Orleans that are more fun than an ocean of seals. On that note, a standard serving of shrimp is one pound. It takes 150,000 brine shrimp to tip a scale to one pound. That number both is a lot of shrimp and not at the same time. Everything is a matter of perspective.
This section of the blog is sponsored by new partner, Paul Piazza. We are both in the shrimp business. My life is like a movie. I needn’t link to Forrest Gump. You get the idea. Not all comparisons need constant flogging.
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I was looking for something in my right pocket. I need to get a utility belt.
A good hospital corpsman always carries a pen. I don’t usually carry a crab pick in my pocket. I found it on the street the same day I found the two pearls on the sidewalk. I have an appointment with my pawn broker.
Opportunity is everywhere for those with the eyes to see.
You should see what’s in my left pocket. I don’t want to make you jealous.
Bazooka Joe and I have a lot in common. I, too, am the captain of my boat, leaky though it may be.
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Now, to the meat of the matter.
Bob Dylan, of all people, is on record as saying, “There are a lot of places I like, but I like New Orleans better.”
Your humble narrator set: “Everything is better with monkeys.”
Our humble narrator is correct. But, what is more fun than a rhesus macaque? I ask you. Scratch that noggin. Raise some dandruff.
The only thing better than monkeys is more monkeys.
The most funnest monkeys of all are sea monkeys.
Fasten your seatbelts, folks. It’s gonna be a wild ride.
Monkey Orleans now has a new dimension. I will be working it out here, refining the original with this new information.
The first version of this whimsical history of New Orleans was only a nauplius. The game has just started! Be prepared to learn more about this wonderful city we call home.
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