Everything I know about the world outside New Orleans, I read in the Wall Street Journal. There is an article on the front page entitled Ukraine’s Brave and Reckless Army. It is a couple of paragraphs and a photo on the front page, under the fold, which leads to a two full pages of firsthand reportage on something that happened on the battlefield. It is so beautifully written in its composition that I am weeping. I was weeping after two thirds of the way through. I am a sucker for poetry.
If you can buy the Wall Street Journal today, you should read that article.
There has been a long interlude between when last we spoke and now. Yesterday, I flitted hither-and-yon, to-and-fro, crisscrossing Mid-City with nary a care in the world. I talked to all sorts of people and learned all sorts of things. I even got to sit next to Nick Lobo.
So, the day before yesterday, I was going to tell you about how I spotted Nick Lobo, but, then Vincent showed up and totally discombobulated my day, as he tends to do with all his nattering on about spinach recipes.
Ask Vincent how he makes his Spinach Something-That-Starts-With-M. I cannot remember what he calls it and I have never heard of it before. I hope you have twenty minutes to kill because he is very passionate about this spinach. Being a good friend, I listen while I stare off into space and compose this paragraph in my head.
It is no wonder women love Vincent. He must spend the night swapping recipes with them.
Then, yesterday, not only did I spot Nick Lobo, but — are you ready for this? I sat next to him. I wonder if Nick Lobo knows that I am on his tail. I was going to tell you about it yesterday, but, ever Mr. Busy, I had to abscond to several different locations over the course of yesterday. A dandy’s work is never done.
You would not know this from knowing me, but, my lot in life is spreading good cheer. Someone has to do it.
I do not remember how much I put in the free part of each letter and how much I put in the paid part. To get free readers up to speed about what I am talking about, this is what I am talking about:
Nick Lobo is an accordion-playing Romeo who fancies himself a poet. He plays the main ball room on the Steamboat Natchez. He wears a white shirt, a black bowtie and arm garters for work. He gets to express himself with his arm garters. He gives his Natchez-issued uniform a little flair.
Nick Lobo is the only musician employed by the Steamboat Natchez Corporation who can modify his uniform. He is allowed to wear arm garters because he plays the accordion. His sleeves might get in the way.
When a person is an accordion player, they can get away with a lot of things, as Nick Lobo’s life proves.
All over New Orleans, there are women who have served as Nick Lobo’s muse. Some of the women keep his scribbled, cocktail napkin love poems. Others, most, toss them away, another piece of detritus littering the landscape of unrequited love between Tulane Avenue and the Fairgrounds race track.
It is all the same poem, over and over.
Nick Lobo writes the same poem over and over. He just changes the name of the subject to the woman he is trying to woo. Even Vincent would not stoop to such romantic chicanery.
I do not want to quote the whole poem. Regular readers already know it. Here is the final stanza:
Well it’s you [insert name here] and you should know it.
With each glance and every little movement you show it.
Love is all around no need to waste it.
You can have this town, why don’t you take it?
You’re gonna make it after all.
It is not even original. All he does is change the name.
But, he has this woman named Alice wrapped around his finger. I cannot figure out what the attraction is. Even less so now, by which I mean Alice’s attraction to Nick Lobo. I know why Nick Lobo is attracted to Alice. Alice is smitten.
Alice is the spitting image of Imogene Coca.
Now that everyone is up to speed, I am going to pull the curtain. I want to tell you what it is like to sit next to Nick Lobo.