The Alligator Stork
Where do baby alligators come from? Touro Infirmary? They come from nests in the swamp.
Go deep, get thick in the morass of le marais, where the whippoorwill cries in its gloom, deep where pirogues can’t reach, on the banks of an out of the way overgrown bayou, where alligators make their nests and where sentences finally come to their conclusions. Phew. We are deep in the palmetto sawgrass at this point.
Destiny is a four-letter word.
Baby alligators eat their way out of their shells. It is their first real meal. Then, they eat each other until only one is left. It is called survival of the fittest. Nature is red in tooth and claw. It is impossible to find a tender alligator. They are born tough and just get tougher when they get older.
Good alligator tastes like old rooster.
Baby alligators are as cute as the dickens. Without teeth, an alligator bite tickles. It is cute like any other baby’s bite, even a snake’s. Look into a baby alligator’s eyes and you will find a mirror for your soul.
The meaning of life can be found in an alligator’s eyes. The meaning of death will be found in its gut.
In the back swamps where few people go except for poachers, escaped convicts, and teenagers up to no good, in places where nobody is watching, alligator storks parachute alligator eggs into alligator nests. This is how alligator families get made. Everything starts with an egg, but the egg has to come from somewhere.
The alligator stork comes when two alligators love each other, when Alligator Suzie and Alligator Sam do the alligator jitterbug in Alligator Land.
They snarl and they growl and they mangle, thrashing and gnawing a jangle. They float like they are in the heavens above, enraptured in a haze of Alligator Love. *sigh* That’s Alligator Love.
When Sam asks Suzie if she will be his missus, she says yes with a shower of alligator kisses. The signal for the alligator stork to show up that we can’t see is when Sam tickles Suzie’s fancy. Then the Captain ran away with Tennille.
I own an alligator nest. It is for sale for curio purposes only. $80.00. I have a box. Official certificate of authenticity included.
I have other things for sale, too. Veracity 100% guaranteed.