The temperature dropped last night around 10:30PM, Central Standard Time. A soft and lustrous breeze picked up and caressed all it touched. The palm fronds rustled and my hair moved like Mrs. King was breathing on it. I closed my eyes, imagining I was in Polynesia. I opened my eyes. I live in New Orleans.
The city was quiet for a Friday night. There was no reason for me to be on patrol. NOPD is in control. I sat in the back garden and let the wind toss my hair, woolgathering.
The Feast of St. Joan of Arc is coming up soon. I will meet you on Decatur Street.
Someone recently told me that I live a fairy tale. It only seems that way. I live in a magical city, warts and all.
Frickin’ Shugee. He has the smile of a prisoner who has found a file in his cake.
Remember that time I was an answer on Jeopardy!?
Mrs. King is the better half of this operation.
Mrs. King dislikes machine-made cigars. I think she dislikes most cigars, no matter how they are made— even if they are hand-rolled on a lady’s thigh. Opposites attract.
Shugee always likes to say he is the first crab to get plucked from the top of the barrel. What that means is that timing is everything and most events are beyond our control. He lands in one boil pot after another but he always wriggles out to crawl to the top of that crab barrel again. Shugee should be content at the bottom of the barrel. Frickin’ Shugee.
Have you seen the price of lump crab meat recently? Vincent was telling me about it yesterday. I forget what he told me. I was not really interested. He forgets half of what I tell him until I start to retell him, then he says, “Yeah, yeah, you told me this.” This is one reason we get along. I always say, “Yes, yes. I remember now.”
The last time I remember knowing the price of lump crab meat was maybe two or three years ago. I was at Restaurant Depot, you know the one. It is where the restaurants shop. Lump crab meat was going for $16.99 a pound. I like crab as much as the next guy, but, after that day I have lost all interest in the price of lump crab meat.
You know the lump crab meat comes from the crabs on top of the barrel, do you not? Those claws are the most succulent because those crabs are scrappy. Big, meaty claws. Shooting stars never stop even when they reach the top.
I do not follow the lump crab meat market because I do not want one more thing to complain about.
Vincent and I have another thing in common. Sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do. He cannot resist lump crab meat. I cannot resist a lobster.
Do a little dance. Make a little love. Get down tonight. Get down, get down, get down, get down tonight.
Now I am going to complain about the high price of lobster in New Orleans which is a subject that interests me.